Invention: Springs for Breasts

Let us thoughtfully examine the physics of breast movement. This requires careful study and concern for protecting these essential assets.

Yet we are not the first people to ponder breasts. In 1864, Eleanor Marshall of Hillsdale, New York, after ruminating about the best way to secure breasts from the ravages of the world, patented the “mammiform breast-protectors.” These are springs mounted on a frame over the breasts to provide flexible protection from damage incurred during, say, a fall to the ground. Unlike hard-shelled armor, these springs offer dynamic security that make use of the breasts’ natural flexibility when encountering outside physical pressure.

-via Weird Universe